my story

Guest writer finally made it on! Yay!

Lou asked me to contribute back in March around my 4 year 'birthday'. You see, I don't just have my 'belly button birthday', I have a clean date, which is 3/19/2006, the last date I drank or got high.

My story begins at least a year before that, maybe even longer. Lou and I worked together. I lived quite a crazy life back then, and I was not at all quiet about it. I cursed in the office, got high on my breaks, bought drugs from co-workers, the list goes on. One day, Lou invited me to a bible study, and to her GREAT surprise I actually agreed to go. The topic of the study really interested me; it was on Rahab, who was a prostitute in the bible, and was instrumental in a very important plan of God's, so we were to learn through this study, no matter what our past looks like, God still has a place for us with Him and an amazing life in store for us.

I can only say that God had me in the perfect place with the perfect girl at the perfect time and my heart was soft and open to this. I can't say how this happens; it just does. It's like when those scales fell off Paul's eyes. It was just time for me to see.

Several girls from her small group were also going, and I met more amazing women of God. I learned about a God who loves without fail and forgives without question. He'd even already forgiven me for things in my past I didn't know I could forgive myself for! All I had to do was accept Him into my life, into my heart. I was so excited about this! And so excited about knowing Him!

I know this all sounds so easy, but when the spirit of our Most High God came to live in me, I started knowing and seeing how my life needed some changes. Some were easier than others. All were IMPOSSIBLE without Him.

I tried to quit doing drugs on my own. I got 2 months clean. I went to church high. I lied to my new friends. I was even hateful straight to their faces. These new Godly women kept loving me though, no matter what. No matter how many poor decisions I made. No matter how many times I said I want this new life, and then made a decision that showed them something else. God was always working in me though, and I knew with these new amazing women of God and at church, high or not, was where I was supposed to be. It was a full year before I was so fully broken that I was able to surrender and say I don't know what I'm doing, dear God relieve me of this pain and agony. I want what you want for me, which is a clean and sober life, free from the pain, the lies, the people that come with the drugs, the alcohol, strip clubs and bars. A YEAR?! Can you believe it? God still loved me. Those girls loved me through the pain, no matter what. And I KNOW it was tough on them too.

Through Christ they loved me. Through Christ I was able to move away from the old life, people, places and things and into the new joyful life He had in store for me.

How very grateful I am today for those girls, and that He put them in my life!

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Phil 4:13